Because why not? Everyone knows who Kim K is. Name a person who hasn’t. Exactly. No one can deny the sheer presence she has graced over this country. This year alone, the media icon has consistently topped pop culture news with stories of her lofty aspirations of becoming a lawyer and plans of eventually settling down in Wyoming with her man Kanye West.
Hey, more power to her.
And that’s why the world needs Kim to lend her voice to a video game. Sure, the likes of Snoop Dogg and Phil Collins have left their vocal mark in the annals of gaming history, but that’s not enough. Why should the public have to settle for B and C-list celebrities when they could have Kim effing Kardashian? Gamers dole out insane amounts of money to purchase the hottest games and consoles, they deserve the best. Because Kim’s not C, B, or A-list.
She’s straight-up S-Tier, baby.
The public is under the impression that A-listers are simply too busy to voice act in video games. That couldn’t be farther from the truth; they’re simply too stuffy to do so. Why should they reduce themselves to voicing video game characters when they could be headlining the next Endgame? Everyone’s working to make a buck, and most people would opt to work a job that’ll reward them handsomely.
Kim Kardashian is the exception. She doesn’t act as much as she used to (although she did appear in Disaster Movie, a modern classic from acclaimed auteurs Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer,) so it’s not like she has anything to lose by lending her voice to a game. Plus, video games are the hottest thing right now. She would be doing herself a massive service by introducing herself to a demographic that probably doesn’t even care about her, to begin with.
Not only that, but Kim’s presence would mean major profits for publishers. Because they have Kim Kardashian in their video game, people would lap it up like warm milk in a saucer. Hell, she could even make a two-second cameo as herself or a new love interest for Mario. Who knows how husband Kanye West would take that news, but we’d likely get a 20-track existential album about being cuckolded by the Italian plumber.
Speaking of Kanye, get him on board too. Any game with Kanye behind it would have a dope-ass soundtrack. That’s just a fact. Imagine watching gut-wrenching cutscenes and hearing his music thumping in the background. People would stop and say, “wait, that’s Kanye West? Like the Kanye West? The ‘I am God’s vessel’ Kanye West? That dude?” Yes, that dude. It worked for Saints Row, after all.
At least it’ll keep the masses occupied after ‘Jesus is King’ drops, sometime in 2030. Maybe.
For better or for worse, Kim K in a game would generate media attention. Some people might buy the game due to curiosity. Others will revel in the memes and spill their salty, sardonic thoughts all over Twitter and Reddit. It would be just like the Keanu reveal at E3 this year, except it’ll be pure hellfire instead of a cozy embrace of wholesomeness.
So why wouldn’t publishers want Kim K in their voice roster? Not only she is the perfect celeb to do so, but it’s something gamers might enjoy - or enjoy hating. Same difference, really. Plus, the attention. Developers and publishers love any opportunity to bask in the limelight to rack in those sales, regardless of whether or not it’s the most flattering portrayal. After all, any press is good press.
Just ask Randy Pitchford!
